Tag Archives: cellie

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March 19, 2010 – 10:10 am

Young Riv, who at 27 isn’t quite so young as his name implies, is a career criminal if there ever was one.  A constant hustler, Riv is a vain, temperamental, and surprisingly intelligent guy who – as he puts it – likes to “live on the edge”.  Nearing the end of his sentence, Riv vows [...]

By Krusty Ruffle | Posted in New Roomates | Also tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)

12-17-09 (1:45 p.m.) Play Along At Home, Kids!*

March 17, 2010 – 6:54 pm

For those unfortunate few who have heard me complain about my cellie’s stench and wondered what exactly he smells like, I have devised the following home experiment.
First, find and bribe the ripest, most urine-soaked and feces-encrusted “aint had a bath in nigh on thirty years” homeless guy that you can. Extra points awarded if [...]

By Krusty Ruffle | Posted in Diary Entries, New Roomates | Also tagged , | Comments (0)

10-30-09 (9:30 a.m.) Ten Thousand, One Hundred and Five

December 5, 2009 – 10:54 am

Played Red Light/Green Light with the roaches all night last night.  Kill the lights for 5 minutes or so (to lull them into a false sense of security), then turn the light on and kill! kill!  kill!
Fairly certain I annoyed my cellie, but as I live in a permanent cloud of his flatulence that defies [...]

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7-04-09 (noon) “Ain’t Nobody in the Whole Camp Gonna Miss Lunch Today”

September 25, 2009 – 3:40 pm

Thus spake young Riv, my cellie, who kinda resembles Ceraun if he’d discovered weed at an early age, going so far as to boldly proclaim that today’s lunch would be the best of the year. So it was with promises of burgers, dogs, and potato salad in vast quantities dancing through my head that [...]

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Wednesday 4-08-09 (2:30 PM) New cellie continued….

April 18, 2009 – 9:53 am

My new cellie is a 21 year old gang banger down for 10 years on a manslaughter charge. (dropped from murder 1) He’s a little off the beaten path from what I’m used to, but all in all he seems to be a decent kid. (Let us hope I don’t have to revise that opinion.) [...]

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Wednsday 4-08-09 (2:00 PM) I I I I I I I have got a ceeelllie!

April 18, 2009 – 9:50 am

New dude moved in. Young kid, gang banger with facial tats. Let us pray that he isn’t as bad as (or worse than) my last one.

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Wednsday 4-08-09 (8:30 AM) I I I I I I ain’t got no ceeelllie!

April 16, 2009 – 10:22 am

At least for a little while anyway….  My disgusting-on-every-level cellie left for Madison today. Madison prison is the sex offender camp (for them as didn’t know) where, as I found out yesterday, I’ll be heading in a few weeks. (This is confirmed, in case anyone is wondering)
I cleaned my cell as much as possible, but [...]

By Krusty Ruffle | Posted in Diary Entries, New Roomates | Also tagged | Comments (0)

Sunday, 4-04-09 (1:30 p.m.) Old Home Week at CRC

April 15, 2009 – 12:46 pm

Thus far, I’ve seen four people that I’d met at the county jail. (Crap, that reminds me, I never did write anything about trial…mental note, must try that again soon.) Thug, who will be doing two and a half years; Vanilla Slim or Shady Ice (or whatever I called him), who’ll be doing [...]

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