March 19, 2010 – 10:10 am
Young Riv, who at 27 isn’t quite so young as his name implies, is a career criminal if there ever was one. A constant hustler, Riv is a vain, temperamental, and surprisingly intelligent guy who – as he puts it – likes to “live on the edge”. Nearing the end of his sentence, Riv vows [...]
For those unfortunate few who have heard me complain about my cellie’s stench and wondered what exactly he smells like, I have devised the following home experiment.
First, find and bribe the ripest, most urine-soaked and feces-encrusted “aint had a bath in nigh on thirty years” homeless guy that you can. Extra points awarded if [...]
November 25, 2009 – 1:33 am
Some of you may remember D-Red as Stabby McStabberson from the county jail. Few of you will care that Stabby… er… D-Red that is… is apparently feeling the weight of removing another human being from the planet, and admitted that he only intended to rob the guy and took the knife along just to [...]
November 17, 2009 – 9:40 am
Took me fourteen days to do so, but I eventually remembered that I’d decided to do this on a daily basis. Heh. Tomorrow is pizza day. I wonder if I’ll have the fortitude to save any pizza for the next day. Highly doubtful.
Manfred von Something’s celly – Captain Child Molester Thong Pants – went to [...]
October 2, 2009 – 8:00 am
So, this guy goes out on the yard, gets surrounded by a large group of guys, and is beaten, stripped down to his boxers, and forced to enter protective custody (or “check in” as we call it).
This other guy, just some random white guy, was raped yesterday while the rest of the block was at [...]
September 25, 2009 – 3:40 pm
Thus spake young Riv, my cellie, who kinda resembles Ceraun if he’d discovered weed at an early age, going so far as to boldly proclaim that today’s lunch would be the best of the year. So it was with promises of burgers, dogs, and potato salad in vast quantities dancing through my head that [...]
No, I’ve not been stabbed (We are 4 Days Without A Stabbing). I just ran into Stabby McStabberson at the chow hall. He’s doing well, considering the 5 life sentences and all, and he’s been renamed to D-Red, which I think lacks a certain something.
Soon, possibly next week, I’ll shake the dust of this place from my crisp white Reeboks and move on to Lebanon, there to concentrate on my most important short-term goal: Getting the hell out of Lebanon. Oddly enough, I find that I’ll miss this weirdass place; I think the drama and people watching [...]
Life in this particular prison dorm may or may not be like the other prison dorms (though I imagine they share an awful lot), but by damn is it interesting. The differences between dorm and cell life are many, and in some (ok, most) cases an improvement, though honestly I’d still prefer a cell [...]
By Krusty Ruffle
|
Also posted in Diary Entries
|
Tagged bible, buddha, creepy guy, hatred, inmates, Jesus, joke, meds, prayer, religion, sanity
|
Welcome to Madison Correctional Institute, home of what I like to call the Warehouse O’ Weirdos, and now home to yours truly, albeit temporarily. Some time around four in the morning (or “asshole dark” as my cellie Player called it), they cracked my cell door and told me to pack my shit, and being [...]